<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Put Up or Shut Up by HyperKid</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27996894">Put Up or Shut Up</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid'>HyperKid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Modern AU [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gremlins, Implied Sexual Content, Other, Sexual Language, mature tag is for readers because we know these bitches aren’t, they’re all gremlins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:54:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27996894</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Beau and Molly cannot be left unattended for five minutes. The Mighty Nein should really know better, yet still manage to come home to find them plotting shenanigans.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Background PolyNein</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Modern AU [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1545967</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Put Up or Shut Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HK: I gotta imagine that this is before they’ve all met Caduceus, because Caduceus introduced Fjord to the concept of shame. <br/>Mollymauk: None of the rest of us ever did. <br/>HK: Not healthy shame anyway. This one’s been rattling around for a while. <br/>Mollymauk: *grinning* I’ve been waiting for it. <br/>HK: You needed it. And... nah actually you’re fine without shame. <br/>Mollymauk: Shame, like guilt, is for mortals and humans so I don’t feel that. <br/>HK: There’s the common thread between all of you! </p><p>WARNINGS!! Do not do the things Molly and Beau do. It is almost always a bad idea. </p><p>Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one but I am having a good time!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It didn’t take long for anyone to realise that Beau and Molly working together was a recipe for disaster. So when the rest of the Nein arrived home to find them both sat at the table with an array of seemingly random objects in front of them, close observation seemed warranted. </p><p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Caleb froze in the doorway, backing directly back out to share a worried look with Fjord and Nott. Jester peeked around immediately, the rest joining her a moment later to survey the scene. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The table was covered in a pretty wide assortment. There was a circular cheese grater, a board eraser, something which looked like just a chunk of rock, the diamond Caleb used to use to cast his lower level spells, a pineapple, half the toolbox, and several other large or heavy objects unclaimed on the table. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Molly and Beau each had a small pile in front of themselves and were contemplating the remainder very seriously. After a long moment Beau cautiously reached forward and scooped the eraser towards herself. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Coward,” Molly snickered, sticking his tongue out at her. Beau flipped him off, leaning back in her seat and spreading her arms. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So take the grater.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Already halfway reaching for it, Molly hesitated. Torn between allowing themself to be goaded and... well, a cheese grater. Finally they shook their head and grabbed the pineapple. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You take it if you want it so bad.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Contemplative silence fell again, the two frowning over their strange assortment. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>The front door opened again, startling the three in the doorway but not catching either Molly or Beau’s attention. Yasha gave the watchers a curious look as she passed, shaking her hair free of her coat and dropping it over a chair. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Entered the dining room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Paused. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Molly, is that my cactus?” She asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing just a little. Both Molly and Beau jumped, but perhaps more tellingly, Beau’s cheeks flushed immediately, her hands raised in instant defense. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It was their idea!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>And suddenly Jester straightened, clapping her hands happily and bouncing after Yasha into the room. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh! I know what you’re doing! Man that’s really gonna hurt... are you sure?” She asked cheerfully, bouncing to the table and examining each of their piles. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Molly just grinned, but Beau only got more flustered, scrabbling to hide her pile. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’re not doing anything!” She declared emphatically, glowering death at Molly. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Fjord and Caleb exchanged puzzled looks, but since the game was up they went in too. Whatever Jester had seen, it wasn’t immediately obvious to either man. Nott hurried in after them and pulled herself up onto a chair for a better view. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Or at least a view of more than Yasha’s ass. Quality of that view was hotly debated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“So what are you doing?” She asked sharply, reaching forward to snatch up the diamond. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Beau took a moment to glower at Molly just a little longer, then scowled at her too. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“None of your business.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ll tell you if you play,” Molly cut in, his smile all sweet and deadly. Jester squeaked immediately in excitement and yanked a hammer towards her. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Yeah! Okay! So are we doing this all together, or...” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I think we should know what we are doing before we agree to play,” Caleb cautioned carefully, the list of things Molly would grin about that’d fluster Beau rolling through his mind. It wasn’t long, and there wasn’t a single good thing on it. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>He knew he was right when a pair of fanged tiefling grins immediately turned on him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Don’t you know, Caleb?” Jester asked slyly, twirling the hammer between her fingers. Paused. “Wait does it matter which end I use?” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“We’ve been generous there,” Molly told her cheerfully, waving his pineapple. “I’m thinking I’ll take this one by the fruit.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Hot, burning red rose steadily from Caleb’s chest up across his face as the pieces clicked. Watching his reaction, Fjord took a wary step back from the table. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alright, what the fuck are y’all doing?” He asked cautiously, already ready to run. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Beau glanced around the room, visibly shrugged, and grinned at him along with the tieflings. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Haven’t you heard, Fjord? Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Silence reigned for a very long moment, most of the room frozen to see what would happen next. Who’d be the first to react. Caleb was tempted to just bury his face in his scarf and never be seen again, but he just Knew that the second he closed his eyes all he’d see was Molly and the pineapple. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not unappealing. Unappealing would be much better. Much less... complicated. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Finally Fjord broke the silence, sighing and taking a seat at the table, scooping the rock towards him. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Alright, but I’m not watchin’ Beau do it.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Not on offer!” The monk snapped immediately, eyes narrowed, as Molly let out a triumphant whoop. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I should probably watch all of you,” Jester pointed out ever so sweetly, still playing with her fucking hammer, “just in case someone needs a healing spell.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You all need some kind of fucking spell,” Caleb muttered to himself, shaking his head and turning from the room. Movement clearly caught attention, which he’d been hoping Fjord would distract. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>No such luck as Molly immediately called after him, </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“Oh, come on Caleb! You’re always down for a good time!” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Caleb almost turned back. Nott made a loud noise of disgust and hopped from her chair, hands thrown into the air in theatrical distaste. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“You’re all fucking children! Come on Caleb, let’s go get ice cream.” </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“It’s fucking winter,” Fjord called after them, shit eating grin evident in his voice. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“She’s probably mad because she’s so small. Not as many things would fit,” Yasha pointed out thoughtfully, pulling out a seat for herself at the table. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>“I bet she’s smuggled diamonds like that before though,” Jester mused with a grin, dropping into Yasha’s lap. The large woman accepted her easily, an arm hooking around her waist to keep her in place. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>Caleb fell into step behind Nott, heading back for the door and the streets of Nicodranas. Even the winter here was so much warmer than the winters he remembered from the Empire; what snow there was rarely stayed. </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p>If they were still at the table when he and Nott got back he was going to flip the damn thing over. </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>HK: I just... I have so much to write, some super short some super long, and it’s so much fun? I might let my WIP pile grow again and knock some little things out...</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>